Most Christian singles talk about how they are waiting on God to give them their future spouse pretty often. We all want love and we want God to give us the right person to marry. We want God to bless us and sometimes we get angry when He doesnβt. Iβll be the first to admit it. I have been mad at God before because I felt He was taking too long to give me my spouse. Itβs funny because when we get mad at God, we probably look like silly toddlers throwing a tantrum to Him. Read on to find out 8 things you can do while waiting on your God given spouse.
I want to ask you two big questions and take a second to think about them. What if God never gives you a spouse? Would you still love him anyways?
Hopefully, your answer is yes. God wants us to put Him first, not a spouse. Iβll tell you from experience, that it is possible to be happy with God and no spouse. I prayed to God many times after my last relationship a couple of years ago to help me to put Him first because I knew a spouse would never make me happy without Him being the center of my life. (After many failed relationships, I finally figured it out.) Not to say I donβt want a spouse, but if God never gives me one thatβs okay. He has big plans for me that I am focused on right now.
Being single is actually a good thing. Check outΒ 1 Corinthians 7:8. Paul says, βTo the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.β It gives us time to get closer to God which is the number one reason why we are on this earth. That and to help others get to know Him as well.
Only God can truly make us happy. Ever seen a miserable married couple? Yea, they are everywhere. Having a spouse is not the solution to your problems. Β Even married Christians struggle. We will struggle our entire lives no matter what our relationship status is. Β It is better to embrace it than try to fight it and be angry about it because once we do, our perspective changes. Itβs either cast our cares on God or let them pile up onto our shoulders. How many times have you fallen already?
God also wants you to work on yourself. Ask yourself this. Am I really ready for a spouse? And be honest because if you are single, that means you really are not ready. Β Not to mean that there is anything wrong with us, but that we have other things we need to focus on first. We have to do what God asks or we will keep waiting and waiting until we are old and gray. Hopefully, you’re saved. That is step one.Β Look at Acts 2:38 if you are not sure.
These reasons listed will also help you in your overall walk with God which should be our number one priority. God is very clear about us to putting Him first. βBut seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto youβ Matthew 6:33.
We need to work on doing that before we get into a relationship with someone. Wouldnβt it be awesome to haveΒ someone who loves God more than anything? Your partner wants that from you too, you know? No matter who you are, I promise your relationship with God could use some work. Everyone on this planet can improve their relationship with God. This life is a journey. Β Constantly trying to get to the next phase of it is just wasting your life.
I mean really does the alternative to waiting on God, and doing what He wants, sound better? Pick someone to date, be miserable, break up, repeat and then maybe get it right when youβre old. No, thank you. Here are some great things to do while you are waiting on God.
1.Read Your Bible more
Reading your Bible seems hard to most. Maybe it seems irrelevant to you in todayβs society? The Bible is Godβs LIVING word. That means God is using it to talk to you through it. If you have ever read than reread the same verse at a later time you have probably noticed that you got something entirely different out of it each time. How can we understand God if we donβt learn about him from the source He gave us?
I wasted a lot of time thinking I didnβt need to read the Bible but finally one day I got it through my head. It helps you to feel closer to God and closer to God is what he wants for your relationship with Him. We can NEVER have enough God, so don’t get complacent. We are not perfect and we need to go to the only one who is for guidance.
Β 2.Pray more
A two-minute prayer before bed is not going to cut it. How would you like it if someone who you loved only talked to you two minutes a day? You would want more and so does God. And do you pray the right way? That might be the bigger question for a lot of people. You need to develop a prayer strategy and get serious about it. If you havenβt watched the movie the War Room, you really should.
Related:Β Two Prayer Strategies That Will Change Your Life.
3.Fast more
Fasting shows up in the Bible many times and for good reason. It helps people get closer to God. Even Jesus fasted. Now if we are trying to strive to be more like Jesus, shouldnβt we be modeling his behavior? Nothing in your Bible is by accident.
Related: Why is it so important for Christians to fast? {Ultimate Guide}
4.Go to church more
A lot of people today say they donβt believe in organized religion or they can worship God at home. βHow, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?β Romans 10:14.Β The Bible is contradicting you. Now who do you think is right? The imperfect being or almighty God? I used to think I could worship God at home. I laugh at that mentality now. If I donβt go to church ATLEAST once a week I feel farther from God and my life gets chaotic. You can’t have too much of a good church. My pastor is amazing and is a vital key in helping me get closer to God.
Now you would be wise to be careful about what church you do go to. Is what they are preaching really Biblical? Thatβs up to you to read your bible and figure it out. InΒ 2 Timothy 4:3, Paul says, βFor the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions.β You should feel convicted by your sins in a church, not comfortable in them. Plus, where would be a better place to meet your spouse?
5.Pay your tithes
This is a big one no one wants to hear. Β Most people think churches are just out to get our money. Β The churches that are out for the money give the good churches a bad rap. Β I had never given more than maybe $10 here and there to a church before, but once my pastor gave a class on paying tithes it started to make sense. Β I wonβt go into all the verses that say we should tithe but look at this one. Β Malachi 3:10Β says, βBring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,β says the LORD of Heavenβs Armies, βI will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you wonβt have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!β
I donβt know about you, but I want Godβs blessing in my life! Β A couple of us newbies decided to step out on faith and started paying our 10% tithes and 5% offering. Β A friend of mine ended up getting a promotion that week and it made up the difference of what he paid out! I somehow started having more money that I couldnβt quite explain. Β I hadnβt done anything different besides give to God. You canβt out give God.
We need to give because it helps the church be able to function. It’s unrealistic to think the church can function without money. Β There are so many people who have yet to be saved. Again, helping people get saved is our main mission! Just try it and put him to the test! Β You WILL see blessings poured out in your life. Β God gives us every dollar we have so when we don’t tithe like He commands, we are stealing from Him.
6.Be happy alone
If all you keep praying for is a spouse, how can you have time for anything else? And I will tell you from experience that thinking will drive you crazy! There is more to life than a partner! We all feel lonely sometimes, even people in relationships. You know what loneliness is? Itβs God telling us to come to him. He doesnβt want you to feel lonely. He wants you to find comfort in his presence.
7.Learn more
God will change you into the person you are meant to be. Β But you have to seek Him over everything else. None of us can change without Him. Believe me, Iβve tried and failed many times.
Now, try this. Write down everything you want in a spouse (I hope you have high standards or else this wonβt work) now ask if you reflect what you want. That is a great start. Also, look at things like your self-regulation. Do you have to have the last word or do you blow up every time you are angry? Now, be honest. We all have problems that we need to work on. And thatβs okay. With work, anyone can change.
Some people these days want to say you got to accept me as I am. And thatβs why they are single or always with the wrong one. No good person wants anything less than an equally good person. The man of my dreams would have looked at me like I was crazy if I behaved the way I did now when I was 18. You ever wonder why you keep getting with the wrong ones? That is a reflection of self, either your lifestyle or what you feel you deserve. God is waiting patiently to help you.
8.Truly make God the center of your life
Everything I listed pretty much sums up to this. Put God first in your life. You have a lot to do, so when God sends you your soul mate you will be ready. And guess what? God is working on them too right now.
Make these things a habit and show God you love Him. He wants the best for you. Your spouse may not come for a while, but that’s okay. Donβt settle because you are lonely. And donβt just think because someone says they are a Christian that they are your soul mate. Talk to God about them and ask for Him to help you not to overlook something major.
A lot of people say they are Christians, but can they back it up? If they are out at the bar every weekend or have a lot of drama in their lives, they arenβt the one for you. And if you are out at the bar every weekend, ask yourself why? If you want Godβs blessing on your life, you need to live a righteous life like He commands. Plus, all you are going to find there are the same kinds of partners that have continually failed to make you happy.
We may not always like to hear that we need to change, but that doesnβt mean we donβt need to hear it. You will never be happy with anyone unless you are happy with yourself first. Only God can do that for you.
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive a free copy of my eBook 25 Habits To Living Life To The Fullest!Β It is full of other great ways to improve yourself.
You may also enjoy…
- How To Get Over Your Ex: Itβs Easier Than You Think
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Will you incorporate any of these things into your daily life? Where are you at in your walk with God? Let me know in the comments below. God bless!
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I find your post really inspiring, good job Jessica!…after reading all this, I’m so surprised that the teachings of Islam resemble Christianity so closely..
By religion, I’m a Muslim…and I do love God and try my best to stay at peace with my own self..
Being very flexible in thinking, I read quotations from the Bible quite often on Pinterest..
While reading, I loved the way you put your thoughts together so as to help those going astray, and suffering consequently without even knowing the true reasons!
I would also recommend you to read the Quran, only as a book, and you’ll find how closely the two books are interlinked!
Best regards..
I am glad that you enjoyed it! I agree with you on being open minded. We can learn so much more when we don’t close ourselves off from the ideas of others. I have thought a lot about reading the Quran to get a better understanding of it and plan to at some point soon. ? God bless!
Also, I would advise you to listen to this talk…it really is amazing beyond expectations…it changed the way I thought about the purpose of life..heres the link:
https://www.ted.com/playlists/14/are_you_there_god
I will definitely check it out. Ted Talks are amazing. Thank you.
What a great article, I have read it just at the right time where my heart is filled with so much love for a fellow brethren. I am so glad to know that, I have to focus my energy and my love to God, and He will give me the rest.
Thank you so much Jess.
I really needed to hear this. It’s not new to me, but I was feeling discouraged.
I hear you there! Just the other day I was confused because I didn’t understand why God was making me wait so long for an answer to an ongoing dilemma of mine, but someone reminded me that God’s timing is always perfect. God always points us in the right direction for advice and encouragement!
At 59yrs. Old I’m truly casting all of my cards upon him because I know that he gives me rest…I was in a Domestic Violence Relationship years ago so it took a lot of time for me to break that wall down
This was amazing to read. My ex boyfriend and I just broke up last month because I needed to focus on my relationship with God and find myself with him before I could commit to my boyfriend, who is an amazing man. We are both praying for each other through our each of our journeys and hoping God brings us together some day in the future. Thanks for reassuring me that being single is a good thing. I am only twenty -one so I have a lot to figure out before I can commit to a man.
Xx
That’s a very wise decision, Caitlin. It took me a little while longer to figure it out ?. He sounds like an amazing man. You don’t find good Godly men often in this world but you are right to get your relationship with God strengthened first before committing. Enjoy your singleness while it lasts. Trust that God will bring you both back together if it is meant to be and in his timing. You won’t be disappointed! You sound like you both are going in the direction that you should. God bless!
Hi Jessica!
Thank you so much for your insight. I feel God definately used you to bring comfirmation to the path i have recently chose to follow after another failed relationship which left me feeling empty and broken. I was tempted to settle until God revealed to me the same insight you have shared in your article. With God’s help i have let go and i realise that i can not find happiness and contentment in life other than in Him alone and putting Him first and above all things i desire. I trust and believe that God is in the process of preparing me and using this time to develop a deeper relationship with Him. Even the apostle paul said “i have learned to be content in all circumstances” and that is what i long for. I will embrace my single status while letting God develop character in me. His timing is the best.
God Bless!
I’m glad God lead you to my article, Nickita! He is very good at putting us in the right place at the right time π It is so tempting to just settle when we get lonely, but there is so much better ahead if we wait. You’re 100% right. His timing is the best! God bless you too!
Jessica great article if your young and have only been wailing a couple of years for your mate but what if God makes you wait for someone 40+ years!! I told God when I got serious with him way back ………. I’d wait for the person of his choosing…. now I regret that, as now I’m lonely and old. I lost God for almost 15 years and am slowly making my way back to a full relationship again I turned away partially because of being single and alone and putting God first and partially because of healing which hasn’t come either Oh well just keep waiting… to late now for a mate Its just me and God till I go home
Hello, I can only imagine how hard it would be to wait that long. It would be very painful to go without a partner for so long. God works in ways that are not always pleasant for us, but He has a reason for everything. It’s never too late, though. You never know what He will do. We all need encouragement at some point, so I encourage you to keep trusting His plan for your life. God bless.
It’s never too late for God to do a beautiful thing
This was very helpful for me. I have been seeking God more and more and it truly does feel amazing. There are some areas in my life that I am working on strengthening, well I should say he is working on me. I’m am 31yrs old with two little one and I really wish I could have learned all is this sooner, but hey better late then never lol. I have non e God since birth being a preachers granddaughter but that was all based on family terdition it’s an amazing feeling no that I am truly getting to know him and understand is word. Thank you for you article.
Yea, don’t we all wish we knew then what we know now lol. I can agree completely… I always have called myself a Christian since I went to church as a child, but it’s totally different when you actually have a personal relationship with God. It’s good growing up with those values, though. I’m very glad this article helped you. God bless!
Thank you Jessica for this inspiring article. I have been so down recently after a break up of more than 2 year relationship. I am still feeling hurt even to this time. I found this article in Pinterest and thought of looking for more of your works. I am glad I am following you here. I am really praying for whatever God has for me. I know He has the best plans as he said in one of my favorite verses in the bible, Jeremiah 29:11. Again, Thank you Jessica and looking forward for more of your great ideas in writing. Godspeed.
Hello. It’s so nice to hear from you. The time after a relationship ends definitely has to be among the worst feelings. The best thing to do is heal and trust God. He has great things ahead for you ? I’m glad you found this article helpful and hope to continue to hear from you. God bless.
My new favorite blog…I loved this article, found you on Pinterest β€οΈ
Hello! Awww…Thank you. I’m happy to hear it! ?
that is amazing may God bless you Jessica, am really blessed with your statement its really helpful. i just Get revived when i start reading your article god provides johova jara hes able thank you for sharing being humble and open
Thank you dear , I am blessed by reading this.
I have a question Jessica.
Should I even bother marrying this late in life? If I finally met a good Christian man who was available. I know plenty of good Christian men–who are married. Bachelors over 22 don’t go to church.
I’m 48 and hate dating. Quit it 8 years ago. Seems 90% of the men who date are just womanizers. These call themselves Christians I may add.
It breaks my heart to know I’ll never have kids.
Should I even pray for a husband as old as I am? What’s the point this late? Even if one showed up tomorrow I might say no. God really would be too late if He sent one now. (
Christians nag you to marry and won’t lift a finger to help you find anyone. Just say, “God will send someone when the time is right. Be patient and wait your turn.” Which never comes. And they offer stale platitudes while your heart breaks and they married out of college.)
Why do old people bother marrying? Why do Christians encourage it nowadays? In the old days they understood it was for the young and fertile.
Nothing can undo the heartache and tears of lonely decades. No purpose to any of it. My heart was a meadow till God tore up the grass and flowers and ploughed salt into it.
For some abstract Greater Good. All He cares about while turning His back on my tears and cries for help. A beautiful work of art. He sits in Heaven and says, “Shut up. I’m sick of hearing about it. It’s all for some Great Good Abstraction. I don’t care about your pain or loneliness dummy. I only bless my favorites, The women I made beautiful and alluring to men. Those I actually love. Not your kind.”
Maybe He’ll explain why my life was barren, bleak and pointless after I’m finally dead. He’s determined to give me nothing good in this life. My life is a pointless waste and my suffering is just to amuse/glorify God somehow. Though I don’t pretend to understand.
I still pray but never about my loneliness or emotional needs. Long ago the Lord showed me he just doesn’t care about my pain. So I quit.
Nothing worth living for. Not suicidal by any means. I just don’t care because I have no one and nothing to motivate me.
God’s will. For reasons.
One of the best sermons on relationships along with the ones by Keion Henderson, https://www.keionhenderson.com/sermons-on-relationships/ that I truly loved reading and of course digesting mentally and spiritually! Thanks and I hope you touch more people’s lives!
God very much cursed many of us single guys that really were hoping to meet the right good woman to settle down with to have a family that we still don’t have today.
I get it now and if I don’t ever meet the right men God wants me to be with I will still be happy and love God. But I haven’t had a men hold me and touch me in years and I mean years. God is not her physically to give me a hug π« or even just hold me. I’m craving for that now. I been single for years waiting on God. Something got to give. I’m hurting over here. It would be nice while I’m waiting for God to come down from heaven and hug me and hold me.